


Bruce and Selina's "Little" Problem

by FoxGamer429



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, De aged Rogues, Eleven year old Ed is a Dumbass, Gen, Good Parent Selina Kyle, Hadn't he learned to never talk to strangers in school??, I was originally going to write Tiny Harlivy but it somehow turned into Tiny Scriddler, Joker is an Agent of Chaos even as a child, Jon has very horrifying nightmares, Jonathan Crane is Stuborn, No Ivy you Cant eat The House Plants, Socially Awkward Edward Nygma, Warning:You may get diabetes from how fluffy and wholesome this is, but we love him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:35:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 9,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24360688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxGamer429/pseuds/FoxGamer429
Summary: When Selina comes to Wayne Manor with 5 children who suspiciously look like Bruce's rogues gallery, what is he to do? Raise them until they get better? Well Selina certainly thinks so!Or:Someone de-aged the rogues and Selina decided to raise them with Bruce until they get better. They won't find out that he's Batman, right?
Relationships: Jonathan Crane/Edward Nygma, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 65
Kudos: 190





	1. I'm The Narrator and This Is Just The Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Prologue so that I know of people are actually interested in this idea-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title:The Only Difference between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage -Panic! At The Disco

*ding dong*

"I'll get it, Alfred" Bruce said before heading to the door to open it. Behind the door stood Selina and what looked to be five children, each between the ages of 7 to 12.

"Hello, Selina"

"Hello to you too, Bruce" Selina responded

"What brings you here today?" Bruce asked

"Well, I have been generously gifted a... _Little_ problem"

* * *

Thankfully, all of the children were asleep, and Alfred made sure the proper number of rooms were ready for the new guests.

The bad news? The new guests were the rogues gallery...who got turned into children.

"Do they still have their memories?" Bruce asked

"Not that I know of. Ivy, maybe, but the others, no"

Bruce rubbed his nose with his thumb and pointer finger. "So, what you are saying is that until their memories and Adult bodies come back, you want me to raise them?"

Selina smirked "I'll be here too, plus you have Alfred and the boys"

Bruce sighed "I'll call up Zatanna"

* * *

"So, they are going to be like that for roughly 6 months"

Bruce's eyes widen in fear "and you can't reverse it?"

Zatanna shook her head while Bruce sighed in defeat. _Worth a shot_

"What do we do now?" 

"take care of them, obviously! They may be your Rogues but they are still children! We you really going to leave them alone?"

Bruce was about to speak before realize that she is right

"Exactly"

* * *

"Hey, B. What's up?"

"You might want to be at the Manor this week"

"hm? Why's that? "

"You get to be a Big Brother again"


	2. Come Little Children, Our Times Come To Play(Here in my Garden of Shadows)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce breaks the news to the five(y'know, without ruining their new found childhood innocence)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title:Come Little Children-Hocus Pocus

3 Hours later, the 5 began to wake up and wonder.

The first one was a girl. She was about 7-8 and had blonde hair. She was rubbing her eyes awake while coming down the stairs. She was wearing a red and black skirt and a white t-shirt.

 _that one must be Harley_ Bruce thought. 

"Hello" Bruce greeted her, catching her attention

"Uh...Hello..." She responded " Where am I?" She asked

"Your at my house. Do you remember who took you here?" Bruce asked

"Yeah! Was it the really nice lady in the black jacket?"

" Yes, it was her." _Though 'nice' is a stretch_ he thought to himself "I should introduce myself. Hi, I'm Bruce Wayne"

"I'm Harley Quinnzel"

Bruce had forgotten for a few moments that "Harley Quinn" was also a shortening of her actual name.

Bruce smiled, and then asked Harley to sit on the couch for a few minutes.

"Would you like anything to drink? Water? Milk? Juice?" Bruce asked her

"Water's fine" Harley answered, with Bruce nodding his head. He went into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.

* * *

The next to come down the stairs was a Boy this time. He had messy brown hair and looked around the age of 12. Bruce could tell that because he was taller then the others.

 _Lanky too_ Bruce thought. The Boy also had glasses on, signalling that it was probably either Scarecrow or Riddler

_Scarecrow, Riddler is Ginger_

"Hello" Bruce greeted him. Harley turned her head from the TV that was playing to look at their guest. She waved her hand enthusiastically, earning a forced(and slightly confused) hand wave in response

"Uh...howdy?" He said in a strong southern accent "Where am I?"

"my home"

The Boy seemed confused "Ya live 'ere?" Bruce nodded, while Jon seemed shocked "woah...."

"I really should introduce myself. Hello, my name is Bruce Wayne. do you remember who got you here?"

"Kinda, there was this lady. Pitch black Jacket, grey top-" something donned on him " wait, where am I? I don't 'member a big fancy house like this in Silverstone... "

This time, Harley spoke "Where in Gotham, silly"

"G-Gotham?!? I don't remember coming to Gotham! Why am I here?!" He started to yell and have tears in his eyes. He was scared, it was clear. Bruce walked over to him and kneeled down, because even if he was tall and lankey, he was still half of Bruce's size.

"I know you're scared but first, tell me your name"

"J-Jonathan Crane"

"Now Jonathan remember this:Confusion causes fear, fear causes anger and anger causes Destruction. Do you understand? I know your scared and probably a little angry, but try and control it, ok? If you need to punch something, I have a ton of pillows. Just try not to hit the vases, alright?" Jon nodded "Now can you go sit in the couch? And do you want anything to drink?"

"I-I'll just have water"

"Ok" Bruce whispered before going to the kitchen...again

* * *

10 minutes later, the next kid comes. It was another boy. He had Multi-colored hair that could not stay down and was skipping stair steps. He was pale, not deathly but pretty damn close. He looked about 10 ish and was unusually happy.

_Joker? Definitely Joker_

"Hiya! I'm Jack!" The Boy- Jack- said when he caught sight of Bruce, Harley, and Jon

"Hello, Jack" "Hi Jack!" " Uh...howdy"

"And who are you, mister?" Jack pointed to Bruce

"I am Bruce Wayne. Mow, you must be thirsty. Would you like anything to drink?"

Jack thought for a moment "eh, water sounds good" then Jack plopped himself into the couch next to Harley

* * *

It wasn't to long until the 4th kid comes. It was another girl, this time having choppy burnin-in-the-sun red hair. She looked around nine-ish and was wearing a green sweater with black pants that made her feet practically invisible.

"Hello" Bruce greeted her. She looked a little shocked when he approached her, her eyes widening

"H-hello" 

"I'm Bruce Wayne, and you are?" Bruce greeted

" Pamela Isely, where am I? "

"You're at my house. Do you remember anything from before you got here?" Bruce asked

"I think I was going to bed and then I suddenly woke up in an alley. This lady came up to me when I woke up and..." Pam thought for a moment " I think I passed out again, waking up here"

"Good, thank you Pamela. Would you like anything to drink?"

"Water is fine..." She then went to the couch and sat in between Harley and Jack, watching what was on TV( Pokemon if Bruce remembered correctly)

* * *

It was a while before the last Child came and it was because they didn't, they hid in the library.

Bruce said he was going to go look for them, because they shouldn't be taking that long unless they were super tired, which was unlikely.

Bruce checked the rooms:nothing. He became worried so he started to look in all the rooms of the second floor, stumbling across the library.

Bruce entered the library, immediately taking notice of a small lump of Orange and green. The kid had a book on their hand and was so invested in it that they didn't notice Bruce enter. Bruce-realizing that they were a Boy by this point- went over to him and sat down next to him.

"Hello"

The Kid practically jumped out of his place on the couch, throwing his book back, and leaped across the room.

"Uh...uh...uh...H-hello!?" He said

"I'm Bruce Wayne, and who might you be?"

" E-Edward. Edward Nashton"

"Now, Edward. What do you remember?"

"N-Not that much, sir-"

"Bruce"

"Not that much, Mr. Bruce. I-I just woke up in a strange room. I started to wonder and I e-ended up here. I'm sorry if I wasn't allowed in here. Really"

"It's all right, Edward. You can come here any time"

"R-Really?!" His eyes lit up, with Bruce nodding

* * *

Bruce took Eddie down stairs to the others. And got him a bottle of water before going to get Selina-who was also in a guest bedroom. 

When they got to the living room, it was in complete chaos.

Eddie was in a corner, scared for his life. Jack and Pamela where in a fist fight(No he was not joking) Jon was cheering from the sidelings(for Pam, Bruce secretly hoped) and Harley was with Ed in the corner trying to cheer him up.

 _I really don't want to do this_ Bruce thought before taking a deep breath and telling "EVERYONE!"

the kids snapped to attention

"What is going on here?" Selina asked. Everyone was deathly silent

"Jack called Harley ugly!" Pam blurted out, causing everyone to looks at Jack

"Yea? So what!" Jack retorted

"Jack, that was very mean. Go apologize to Harley" Bruce demanded

"It's alright Mr. Wayne. Besides, Eddie was more effected by it than I was" Harley said while nodding to Edward, who was still curled up into a ball in the corner

"Edward? What's wrong?" Selina asked

" I-It was getting loud, a-and there was fighting and-" Ed got out before Selina cut him off

"It's alright. The yelling stopped. We just have one more thing before we can explain what is going on" Selina then sent a flare to Jon "Now, why didn't you stop the fight?"

"He deserved it. No gentleman should call a girl 'ugly' and get away with it" Jon stubbornly said

"I'm sure he did-"

"Hey!"

" -but" Selina said, ignoring the cries of protest from behind her "I'm sure we could have handled it. Now" Selina looked at the clock, 8:30 PM "What should we have for dinner?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Silverstone: "Quick, I need a southern town and I need it quick!" " You've never BEEN to the South "" FIGHT ME! " "AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!"
> 
> Yeah, I basically hand crafted a town for this story. Why? *strangled duck noises*
> 
> Also! Ages:  
> Harley:8  
> Jonathan:12  
> Joker:10  
> Ivy:9  
> Eddie:11


	3. C'mon,C'mon, With Everything Falling Down Around Me(I'd like to believe in all the possibilities)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinnertime! And Dick comes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title:C'mon-Panic! At the Disco & fun.

Dinner was...eventful

For starters, they needed to explain why they were there in the first place, which in of itself will be a nightmare. 

So, what did Bruce and Selina do?

Let someone ask over dinner and explain it then, if course!

And so...

"Why are we here?" Pam asked when she got her chicken ceaser salad

"W-well..." Bruce stuttered. He had expected someone to ask, just not this soon!

"Your parents wanted you all to...get out of the house for a while and...meet other kids" Selina lied

"...that explains why they are here" Eddie spoke up "but not why I'm here"

"What d'ya mean?" Harley asked, moving her head to lol at him

"My parents-My dad at least-wouldn't want...He wouldn't want" He aggressively pointed at everything " _This"_

"Why's that?" Selina asked

Eddie was pale. Well, more pale then usual. The entire table was quite, waiting for someone to speak. Then, Edward spoke again

"Can we just forget this?"

Selina was reluctant for a moment, but eventually caved in

"Also doesn' explain why I'm here" Jon spoke up"If my Grandma 'wanted to get me out of the house,' she had multiple other options. Also...THIS IS GOTHAM!" Jonathan yelled the last part

"Quite down. Maybe they also wanted you to get out of town?" Bruce asked

Jon looked lost in thought for a moment, but he then say down and started to poke at the salad with his fork. "Maybe...I don't know..."

" Well, we're all in this together, right? " Harley said enthusiastically "Like, we can think of this as..." She thought for a moment " Summer Camp! "

"It's December, dummy" Jack interrupted and was immediately punched in the face by Pam, who was right next to both Jack and Harley.

"PAMELA! What have we told you about punching people?" Bruce scolded, in which Pam responded with a shrub

"It's not like he hadn't had it coming" Pam deadpaned 

"...your right" Bruce muttered, obviously with protests in the background

_This is going to be an eventful six months..._

* * *

Dick arrived approximately one hour after dinner. If it was a cartoon, there would have been fireworks announcing his arrival and trumpets playing in the background.

When he arrived, he didn't even bother knocking or ringing the doorbell, he just marched right on in like he owned the place(he technically did, but that is NOT THE POINT)

Bruce sighed, secretly glad of his oldest sons presence and went over to greet him at the door.

"Where are they?" Dick excitedly asked

"Living room" Bruce replied. When Dick tried to run at top speeds to the aforementioned place, Bruce caught him. "There are some things we need to go over. First: what do you know"

"Only what you told me. That you had acquired a few new kids. You really need to work on your communication skills, B"

Bruce rubbed his nose "Well,what I failed to tell you is that the 'kids' are a de-aged Rogues gallery" Dicks eyes widen at this " Selina found them and came to the manor"

"So what your telling me is...Selina and you are going to essentially be raising your villains...as kids"

"Basically, yeah"

"...this is a bad idea"

"Your telling me..."

* * *

Bruce was scared to see the living room in chaos when he returned, but thankfully it wasn't.

Everyone was sitting on the couch(Youngest-to-oldest no less) watching Sponegebob Squarepants on the TV.

The only mildly concerning thing was Jon saying how inaccurate talking fish are but that was it.

"Can I have everyone's attention please?" Bruce said. Suddenly, 5 child-sized heads and 1 adults looked behind the couch. " Everyone, this is Dick. Dick, this is Harley, Pam, Jack, Eddie, and Jon" He pointed to the head as he said the names

"Hi!" " Hello" "HI!" Eddie just waved " Howdy"

"It's nice to meet you!"


	4. It's Beginning To Look A lot Like Christmas~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I mentioned it was December in the last chapter, didn't I?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the Dam song

~The Next Day~

They just HAD to get transformed back into children 1 week before Christmas....which means....

"CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!!!!!!" Screamed Jack and Harley simultaneously. Eddie and Jon were covering their ears and Pam looked like she was ready to punch Jack in the face again.

"Now hold o-" Bruce said but was cut off by the screams of two children with unlimited energy about to grab a pair of coats.

"Hey! I got here first!" Jack almost yelled

"Well to bad!" Harley retorted

"Can you 2 _PLEASE_ stop fighting?" Dick asked the children 

"BUT HE/SHE STARTED IT!" They said at the same time, making the adults in the room sigh

* * *

The children got into the car. They where going to go to a mall over in Central City so that a)No one will wonder why Bruce Wayne has 5 Children who suspiciously look like the infamous villains and B)No one will be staring(even though Bruce is a widely known celebrity but, eh. He has a disguise in mind)

he had called Barry up ahead of time, briefing him up on what had happened and asking for assistance. He also told him not to mention the fact that they where supervillains turned into children as to both not scare them and any other possible consequences.

when they had gotten to the mall, Barry was-shockingly- already there, along with Wally and Bart. 

"Well, this is new" Bruce said upon arrival, being followed by 5 children, his fiancé, and Dick.

"Hello, Barry" Selina said to the Blonde speedster

"Hey, Selina!" Barry responded. He looked towards the kids "so, these are the kiddos?"

" Hey! I'm twelve, thank ya very much! " Jon almost yelled

"Yeah, yeah anyway, we're are we going? Is Tim here? Why am I here? Why are any of us al-" Bart rabidly said, being cut off but Wally when He put his hand over Barts mouth to make him stop talking

"Woah, woah, woah, easy there" Wally responded

* * *

The children split into 2 groups. The first group consisted of Jack, Jon, and Pam with Dick chaperoning. The second group was Eddie and Harley(+Bart) with Wally chaperoning.

while the kids where doing all of that, the adults went to the good court to talk(and get lunch, it was almost noon, damnit!) 

"So, let me get this straight" started Barry while eating his 17 cheeseburgers "Your rogues got turned into children"

"Uh huh" Replied Bruce

"And you" he pointed towards Selina with his ketchup covered hands "Thought it was a good idea to take care of them"

Selina just nodded 

"And when you asked Zatanna, she said this is going to last about 6 months?"

They both nodded this time

"And your NOT worried about them finding out about your...night job...?" He didn't know what else to say other than 'Night Job'

"Oh, I'm worried. But I severely doubt it. If they do, I only have to hope that when they return to normal, they will forget it" Bruce answered

"Well, let's hope your right... "

* * *

Twas the night before Christmas and all through Wayne Manor

Not a creature was stiring, not even- screw it, a parody of "Twas The Night Before Christmas" was a stupid idea* shuffling*

There, back to the story

as was mentioned previously, it is currently the night before Christmas, and what better thing to do was go back to punching gang members in the face?

The big black bat got back to the batcave after a very boring Christmas Eve night. Everyone was supposed to be here by morning. Well, not everyone. Tim said he was going to be spending Christmas with the Kents(That TRAITOR!) And Cass was still in Hong Kong. Apparently, Jason, Bizzaro and Artemis where spending Christmas together(Last minute thing)(Mental note:Mail presents to Jason) so he's out.

That left Dick, Stephanie, Damian and Duke.

Dick was already there and Damian was going to fly in tonight. Stephanie was about to arrive-

"HIYA B!" 

Right now

"Hello Stephanie, how have you been? " Bruce asked the purple blob that had attacked him

"Hi! I've been doing good. Just finished watching Avatar :The Last Airbender and let m-" She started rambling on and on about how good the animation was and the story and how "Zuko is so hot like seriously! Stop laughing!"

"Well, get changed. We have a few new guests that are going to be staying with us for a while"

"Hm? Who are They?" Steph asked, genuinely curious

"Well, let's just say we have a _little_ problem"

"...oh no"

* * *

Bruce had left a note on the vanity in Stephanie's room briefing her on everything and to "Not, under any circumstances, mention what they have done"

Meanwhile, Bruce got dressed and went downstairs to get shoes on so that he was ready to go pick up Damian at the airport(apparently, Jon-Kent, not Crane- had 'Bribed him'-sortof?-Into riding commercial)So he had to pick him up there.

~2 Hours Later~

Twas now Christmad morning. Damian had been acquired from the Airport, Duke has joined the party, and 5 de aged Rogues, a purple disaster, Bruce Wayne's Fiancé and Dick Grayson have woken up.

Phase 1 was complete

Now into Phase 2:Breakfast

on the carride, Damian and Duke had been briefed on what had happen and that his new "Guests" where his rogues gallery and they had been turned into children and any and all precautions, so _in theory_ every thing should be sorted out and go according to plan.

unfortunately, that is not what you are here for

Let the madness begin!

"HEY! I WANTED THE LAST PANCAKE!" Screamed Jack, because of course it was him.

"WELL I GOT IT FIRST, NAPIER!" Damian fought back

Jon sighed "Pam?"

At that moment, a sucker punch was thrown Jack's way.

It was about to hit Damian, but he had moved out of the way in time.

"Can we just have one peaceful meal?" Eddie asked

"believe me, Master Edward, I ask myself that same question every single day" Replied Alfred

* * *

Surprisingly, the most peaceful part of the day was presents.

Jack had gotten the least amount of presents, only getting 3 sets of playing cards from Eddie, Bruce, and Dick and a skateboard from Harley

Pam got a Chia pet from Dick, a book of Plant-related riddles from Eddie , a necklace from Harley(one of those corny "Best Friend" necklaces too) A "How To" guide on self defense from Bruce and a Thank You card from Jon for shutting Jack up

Harley got a limited edition Beany Baby collection from Bruce, a stuffed bear from Dick, a paint set from Eddie,and a hammer from Pam( "Something told me you would like it!")

Jon got some psychology books from Bruce, a limited edition copy of The Wizard of Oz from Dick(to which he was punched in the arm by Bruce and flared at by Damian) 2 stuffed birds-one from Pam and one from Harley- and a book on birds from Eddie

Eddie got a book on expert puzzles from Bruce, a collection of the Hardest rubix cubes from Dick, a stuffed Bear from Harley(This particular ome was bright fucking neon green) a house plant from Pam ( "They are the best company to have!" ) and some more puzzles from Jon

the others said they were going to unwrap their presents at a later time(much to the dismay of the kids)


	5. Hey Moon, Please Forget To Fall Down(Hey moon, don't you go down)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, before now, I have been following some sort of plot. Now, *Crash with me throwing something* TO HELL WITH PLOT!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title:Northern Downpour-Panic! At the Disco
> 
> Also, quick warning: This chapter is going to be very graphic(do to it being a chapter describing a nightmare) I didn't realize until like 1/3's way into the chapter that it is going to be vividly describing torture.
> 
> You have been warned!
> 
> PS:Jon doesn't know what the hell "Fear Toxin" is at this point so the Scarecrow he sees in his nightmare does not use it, bye!

Jon couldn't sleep

This wasn't a new occurance, as there had been multiple nights where he couldn't sleep.

Tonight, however, had been different.

He had a night mare, which for him are very rare. When he had a nightmare, however, they are usually very bad and very graphic.

this one was no exception

* * *

_Jon stood in a dark room. Suddenly, the lights come on and he could see a tall, thin man dressed as the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz._

_"Welcome" the mysterious Scarecrow whispered loud enough for Jon to hear. Suddenly, a curtain went down, now showing his friends(and Jack) each strapped to operating tables._

_Jon's eyes widen. He's seen enough horror movies to see where this is going._

_He tried to move, ultimately failing in the process because he was glued in place(both figuratively and literally)_

_< warning:this is where it gets graphic. You have been warned>_

_The first victim of this monster was Jack. The man grabbed a knife and started carving a 'J' into his chest. It was deep and Jack's cries where loud. He then moved to slashing at Jack's face, leaving 15 very deep and bloody cuts. To add insult to injury, the man started to electrocute him._

_next was Harley. This time, he started with the electrocution before doing anything else. The Monster than carved multiple graphic images(mostly skulls and birds) into her arms and legs. To finish it all off, he set her whole body in fire._

_next was Eddie, but at this point, Jon couldn't even watch anymore as these people who he was spending the next few months with where getting tortured right in front of him_

_and then..._ He woke up

* * *

"GAH!" Jon gasped while waking up. He thanked whatever force was out there that it was all just a dream.

he went out onto the hall, hoping that he could get down stairs and get a drink of water without getting caught(by Alfred or any wayward souls haunting the manor)

He got to the refrigerator and was going to get a bottle of water when he noticed another person walking down the stairs:Eddie

Eddie noticed Jon and was about to make a run for it, but Jon caught him in time by grabbing another bottle of water and tossed it to Eddie.

"Wanna go outside? Watch the sunrise? " Jon asked "'ts almost 5:30"

Eddie checked the clock and it was, in fact, almost five thirty AM

"S-sure" Eddie mumbled, following Jon outside to the garden

* * *

"Hey, does anyone know where Jon and Ed are? " Pam asked

"As a matter of fact, no" Harley answered

"I'll go look for them" said Bruce, getting up from the table

when he got to the garden, the first thing he saw where Jon and Eddie snuggled up on the bench near the Rose bushes. He took a picture before picking them both up and heading inside and putting them snuggly on the couch and putting a blanket on them


	6. As We Fade In The Dark, Just Remember You Will Always Burn As Bright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the rest of Gothams Underworld have been up to since the disappearance of everyone's favorite dorks(+Joker)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title:The Light Behind Your Eyes-My Chaemical Romance
> 
> Also:Penguin is definitely going to be out of character. Why? Well....I may or may not have written this after attempting to binge watch Gotham....(Key Word:Attempting. I have not finished it yet. I'm not even some with season 1 yet)

Oswald was already not having a good day.

Now, this is usual. But after hearing that not 1, not 2, but 5 of his fellow rogues not appearing for 5 weeks? Something was off. They definitely not at Arkham, that's for sure. How does he know this? None of the escaped Arkham Inmates that have been there in the current time frame of their disappearance have seen them!

Some may say that he was worried. (The great and powerful Penguin? Worried? Hah!) This may be true, but seeing as there had been no news of a Joker.attack on over 5 weeks, something was off and Oz did NOT like that one bit. And so, 

His search began

* * *

"I know I never ask you for favors-"

"You don't" Harvey responded to the person on the other side of the phone. Penguin had called regarding...SOMETHING! And the two-faced(Ehhhh~) criminal really couldn't turn him down.(No matter HOW hard he tried)

"I know your worried about them too, and you already.owe me a favor from that one time, soooo~"

Harvey sighed. He wasn't getting out of this was he?

"Alright. Heads, I help you, tails I don't" He flipped his coin, it landed on heads "DAMNIT! Alright. I'll be at your place tomorrow evening"

"That is all I ask"

" You and I both know that that is not true"

* * *

<The Next Day, after meeting with eachother>

Jervis was currently really nervous. Not because Dormouse and March Hare haven't visited in a while, but because two different rogues where currently at his doorstep.

"Hello! What brings you here?" He asked his fellow rogues

" Yes, hello Mad Hatter. Say, have you heard from Riddler or Scarecrow in the past five weeks? " Penguin asked

"Dormouse or March Hare? No, I haven't. Do you want to come in for tea? It is currently tea time you know"

The two mob bosses looked at each other before shrugging and going inside to discuss what was going on.

* * *

"So, none of them have been seen in five weeks?!" The Hatter exclaimed, more worried than ever

" No, they haven't. Penguin started to get worried and so he contacted me for help" Two-Face explained over the cup of tea-Earl Grey, he's not a tea person so he chose the simple option-That he just put down on the couster.

"And...you contacted _me_ to help you with this?" Jervis was still a tiny bit confused about all of this.

"Well, if you don't want to hel- " Penguin said before being cut off by the frantic Alice in Wonderland themed villain

"It's not that I don't want to help, it's just that I'm not very..." Batter was trying to think of the right word

"helpful? " Oswald thought out loud

"Powerful?" Harvey unhelpfully added

" _Important"_ Tetch have the word he was trying to think of

" that too... " Harvey muttered

"Alright Griphon, Tweedle Dee, when are we going to start the search?"

Cobblepot chuckled

"We haven't even finished the search party yet"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact:While writing this chapter, 'Riddler' was auto corrected to 'Toddler'. And I was like"Well, your not wrong"


	7. There Are Moments That The Words Don't Reach, There Is Suffering To Terrible To Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now, back to your regularly scheduled batdad fluff
> 
> ....and some Tiny Scriddler....(I can't help myself!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title:It's Quite Uptown-Hamilton

"What is going on here?" Bruce asked, walking into the living room to a sight that was even crazier than the fist fight that happened on day 1.

Meaning...he walked into a wedding

Y'know, like those weddings that happen on schoolyards between the kids people thought would make a good couple? Yeah, one of _those_ weddings.

This one was between Jon and Eddie...with the latter wearing a sheet for a wedding dress and the former wearing one of those cheesy graphic tees that somewhat resemble a suit and black pants.

"Shhh" Harley whispered "we're in the middle of a wedding"

Selina was playing along with this "wedding" and was acting as preast(complete with cardboard headgear).

Jack was fake-crying in the front row while whispering things like "So beautiful, much wow". Pam was acting as bridesmaid with a few of the stuffed animals.

 _the only thing that could complete this is ring pops as the ri-_ At that moment, Dick walked into the room with a throw pillow with two huge ring pops on it _There it is_

Bruce then slowly walked out of the room

* * *

<and now, back to Oz and Harvey making a search party>

The search for more search party members has lead to the trio to an abandoned music store.

Jervis went up to the door and knocked on it 6 times. Before a 7th could be made, the door opened to the sound of trumpets blaring with a heavenly voice announcing the owners presence.

" heLLO~" He sang

"Ah, Singing Rose, I'm sure you know Griphon and Tweedle dee?" Mad Hatter said/sang

"Yes, I doooo~" The Music Meister sang

"Do you know why we came?" Penguin asked the ginger

"No" Music Meister simply said(in a sing-song tone, but it was flat and without his usual charm)

"Well, are you aware of the disappearance of Joker, Harley, Ed, Jon and Ivy?" Harvey asked

The Meister's unseen eyes widen "yooouuu are maaaaaking a search party?"

All three of the visitors nod their heads before the host ran inside to put on his outfit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I did the Music Meister justice
> 
> Also, I did not expect that I would be writing a child's wedding. It was just....needed if people wanted tiny Scriddler
> 
> Anyways, bye!


	8. Stop There, Just Let Me Prevent It(Don't wanna live a life that is comprehensive)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title:New Perspective-Panic! At The Disco

Selina was having that strange feeling again. 

The feeling that led her to that alley and finding the kids.

It wasn't as strong (pretty weak actually) so she had a feeling that this second round only had one-maybe two- victims.

"I'm going out for a few minutes" selina announced to the makeshift family. Bruce nodded, slightly concerned, but understanding. The children protested, but Selina tolled them not to worry about it.

* * *

Selina was slightly scared, which was a great feet in of itself.

She cautiously walked to the alley that she found the five in and found not one, but two new rogue's-turned-children

She recognized both of them:Penguin and Mad Hatter. Selina decided to try and wake them up before taking them to the Manor.

"Hey" she rocked the younger blonde one. He was wearing a yellow polo shit and blue suspenders and jeans. 

_Out cold..._ Selina thought to herself before picking up the two boys. Jervis looked to be about 7 while Os looked 13. 

Selina got out her phone to warn Bruce of the two new children joining them.

* * *

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE MISSING!?!" Harvey yelled at the now frightened Neil

"I mean they're missing" he wasn't even trying to not sing, as it was a scary situation "it seems that's whoever got the others got them two"

"So we need to find more people willing to help us find them" Two-Face sighed _Great_

* * *

The next day, all of the children -including the two new ones- Came down for breakfast.

"Hello" Bruce greeted them. They looked at each other for a moment before the blonde one jumped from step to step towards the bottom of the stairs.

"Hello mister! I'm Jervis" Jervis said with confidence

"Hello Jervis, I'm Bruce, now can you go sit at the table" Bruce pointed to an empty spot at the table, to which Jervis ran

The other boy looked more suspicious of the place, before going cauciously down the stairs.

He let out his hand to be shaken. Bruce responded by shaking his hand in response

"Oswald" was all he said before going to the empty spot next to Selina.


	9. And I'm On My Way, I Still Remember These Old Country Lanes(When we did not know the answers)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked for more Harley, so I shall deliver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title:Castle on the Hill-Ed Sheeran
> 
> And I know no ones asked this, but it is important to me that you guys know this:  
> The chapter titles rarely-if ever-have anything to do with the chapter. (They're more to set the mood of the story if anything)
> 
> That Is all

"ACHOO!" A loud sneeze came from Harleys room. She had started showing signs of a cold for the last few days and was banished to the bed until she got better.

Was she happy about this? No

Did she want to dissobey Alfred? Also no

Meaning for the rest of the week-

" _there was a table set out under the tree in front of the house, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it_ "-she's going to be read Alices Adventures in Wonderland till she can recite it from memory

Harley mentally groaned as the new youngest-Jervis, if she remembers correctly-reads his favorite book to her for the umpteenth time in a row.

Jervis was a nice kid. He got along well with Jon and Ed and most interactions between him and Harley DIDN'T lead to a punch to the face from Pam so he was OK in her book.

Speaking of books, he was still reading The Mad Tea Party out loud(appearantly his favorite part as he acted out everything and gave everyone extravagant voices simmailer to their friend's)

"Master Jervis, I do believe Miss Harleen would like some privacy right about now" _Alfred, you beautiful human being, thank you_ Harley mentally thanked the ageing butler before he served her some home made chicken noodle soup and leaving

* * *

Throughout the day, multiple people came for multiple reasons. Jervis to get through more of the book, Pam to chat about whatever came to mind, Ed and Jon to play card and board games, Bruce and Selina to check up on her and Alfred...being Alfred.

Only Jack and the other new guy didn't come

Jack was obvious:He hated her. It was nothing new to anyone in the manor and their fights became a regular-if not annoying- background noise.

The other new guy-Oswald, she thinks-wasn't surprising either. The minute Harley met the guy, she knew that he was the dark, loner type so she stayed away from him when she could. They sometimes chatted, but it was usually a meal and the conversations where short due to Jack being thrown across the table by the person he angered (%90 of the time it's Pam, but Jon is surprisingly strong)

Harley yawned before curling up into the blankets and slowly went into sweet unconsciousness

* * *

Harley had a quite, Dreamless night. It was actually pretty nice and she did not feel the need to vomit into the bucket soj she felt that her cold is finally going away, so that was a plus.

"How are you feeling, Miss Harleen?" Alfred asked near the middle of the day

"I'm doing great Alfred" Harley answered

"Let me know if you need anything" Alfred then walked out before gently closing the door

_I will, don't worry_


	10. I Made a Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I put a tag on this fic. It was "No Ivy you can't eat the houseplants"
> 
> I now present: a crack chapter on Bruce finding his new daughter trying to eat a houseplant

Bruce has seen a number of strange things in the past few weeks. From fistfights to weddings to reenactment's of Alice in Wonderland, Bruce has learned that 7-13 year olds are alot stranger than Vigilante children

That being said, nothing prepared him for who he deemed the most responsible of his new foster kids...

Trying to eat a houseplant

Thankfully it wasn't plastic, that would be a real disaster, but it was still concerning seeing a 9 year old trying to eat what looked to be...Bruce didn't know. He barely had knowledge of what each flower was. All he knew is that it LOOKED like a cheap, fake houseplant but he knew it was not(Alfred would murder someone if it was)

"Uh...Pam?" Bruce asked. Pam looked up from the plate she was putting everything on "what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to make a salad to go with dinner" she explained. 

"Does Alfred know that you are truing to help him?"

Pamela's eyes widen before she zipped off to go find the ageing Butler. Meanwhile, Jon came down a few seconds later

"Hey, Bruce? Why is Pam runnin' down the halls calling for Alfred?" his southern accent had been loosening for the past few weeks to the point where you could barely tell he had one in the first place

"She just learned that she has made a vary grave mistake"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short, but I needed to keep to my promise of Ivy and House plants


	11. Oh Wonderland, I Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title:Welcome to Wonderland-Anson Seabra

*ding, dong*

Bruce was confused. He didn't think anyone was coming to the manor for a while. 

So, he went to the door to welcome his unexpected guest and it was-

"Jason?"

* * *

Jason had to be brought up to speed

Along with the news about the kids, Bruce also was a worried parent. And so, with the whole "no killing any of them!!!" He also got the "did you get your present?" "Did you get a good nights rest???" And, of course "have you had lunch yet???"

"Yes, no, yes" Jason simply said 

"Well, go to your room and take a nap. Everyone will be introduced soon" Jason just grunted before taking his jacket and boots off and left them at the door

* * *

<meanwhile>

Jonathan needed to clear his head a bit. It had been a stressfull 6 weeks and he needed a walk badly 

He found a spot on the grass and laid there for a bit. He closed his eyes and just breathed. He started to think about what had happened over the past few weeks.

Let's see; He woke up in a Mansion in Gotham City, New Jersey. He made 5 new friends-no, Jack did not count as a friend-. He actually celebrated Christmas and got presents. And he got to go outside of Georgia.

He spent so long in his thoughts, he didn't even realize that he was now napping in the rare Gotham sunlight.

* * *

Even if it wasn't Christmas Time anymore, Stephanie was still spending time at the manor. It wasn't often that she was there with the other kids and teens that Bruce looked at and said "Mine now" so she tried to make the most of it when she could.

The Blonde was currently in the library trying to catch up on some reading. She was reading "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" since she hadn't read it in a while. About 20-30 minutes after she started reading it, one of the Rogues-turned-Children wandered into the library. Steph could tell it was Mad Hatter seeing as he was blonde and one of the shortest.

Jervis took one look at the book she was reading and simply said...

"...Alice in Wonderlands better"

"Couldn't agree more"

* * *

<the next day>

Jason was the first to wake up

Granted, he went to bed at...like...6 at night but that's besides the point

It was currently 6 in the morning. Nobody was up, not even the nocturnal Bat he called "Dad" or Golden Boy(who was leaving when the whole "Child Rogues" thing was resolved) so that meant...

"Master Jason? What are you doing up?" Oh right, he forgot about Alfred(does that man ever sleep?)

"Sorry, Alfie. Did I wake ya?" Jason asked

"On the contrary. I woke up on my own" _Codeword for:Bold of you to assume I need mortal social constructs like sleep_

"May I help make breakfast?" Jason asked the ageing butler. Alfred just smiled

"I'll take that as a yes"

* * *

The first of the children to wake up was who Jason assumed to be Penguin. It was kind of obvious; Portly, black hair, looked older than most of the others, radiates a "Don't fuck with me" energy and definitely was some variation of the word "Rich"

He came to the table and sat down near one of the corners and waited. He was surprisingly pretty quite, though that could have been because he didn't have anyone to talk to other than Jason and Alfred-who where currently cooking breakfast- and he a.) Didn't know Jason and b.) Didn't know that you could _talk to Alfred_ and that he actually appreciates the chatter (all of the kids talked to Alfie when he was making a meal, even Damian)

The next kid to comedown was a girl. She was a redhead and she was wearing a green sweater and had green pants on, so Jason knew immediately that it was Ivy. Red hair and an obsession with the color green? Yep, Ivy

She sat down next to Cobblepot and looked into the kitchen. She had a puzzled look on Ber face and spoke up

"Who are you?" She asked, obviously pointing the question towards Jason

"You'll find out soon. Anyways, Pancake's sound good?" He asked the two kids. They both just nodded

The next kid to comedown was another girl, this time with blonde hair in pigtails, red and black overalls and a white shirt. This one was obviously Harley. She skipped over to the table and plopped herself next to Ivy

"Oooooh, pancakes!" She said excitedly

Jason just chuckled "Yep". He could never bring himself to be mad at Harley, seeing as she was another victim of Jokers and had been turning over a new leaf before all of this happened.

Jason didn't even notice the next kid come in, only noticing him when a quite voice asked "who are you?"

Jason was startled and had almost burnt a pancake. He turned around to see another kid at the table, this time seated across from Oswald. He had burnt-red hair and oh so many freckles. He could see a few scars, also and a pair of glasses rested on his nose.

"He said that we'll find out soon" Ivy answered him. Jason assumed that the new kif was Nygma, though he didn't think that Riddler was ever this soft spoken

It wasn't long before the next kid showed up. He had made his presence known with a bang...literally. The kid flew off the stairs and landed face first on the wooden floor. Alfred looked like he was tempted to see if he was alright.

"He's fine" Ivy said simply

"I'M OK!" The kid yelled. Jason could tell immediately that this was Joker.

A few minutes later, a grumpy kid strolled on downstairs 

"What was all that commotion about?" He asked. The boy was tall, lanky and a brunette, which was all Jason needed to deduce that this was Scarecrow

"Jack flew down the stairs" Answered Ivy

"It was actually pretty funny" the Quite Kid responded with a chuckle. Crane sat down next to him, giving him a hug and-for some reason- started to glare at Oswald

Jason put the pancake that he had finished cooking on the serving plate and walked into the living room, bending down next to Harley and asked "what's that about?" Pointing to the staring contest in front of them

"Os has been flirting with Eddie-" _So it was Nygma "_ -and Jonny doesn't like it"

"Why not? 'Ts not like they're married, right?"

"That's the thing, they are!" Harley said defensively.

"Your joking" Jason gasped dramatically. Harley shook her head

"Nope. Have been since Christmas"

"Aw man. Wish I was there" Jason then went back to making pancakes.

Soon, the rest of the last child(Tetch), Golden boy, B, Steph and the Demon Child had all came to the dining room and had gotten pancakes

"Alright. Who is he?" Pam asked, pointing to Jason

"That's Jason" Bruce said simply.

"Aww, no dramatic introduction?" Jason said sarcastically. Bruce just glared "I'm kidding. I'm kidding" He chuckled

"Hey Jay, glad you could join us" Dick said in his normal big-brother tone

"Glad I could too. Or I wouldn't have met these little rascals" He pointed to the kids

"-tt- your just saying that to try to get on Fathers good side" Damian sneered before being backhanded by Stephanie

"Don't say that" She gritted

"And what if I a-" Jason started before being cut off with a hand by Alfred

"Settle down you two. It's barely even 7 in the morning and your already trying to start a fight"

"But he-" The two started before getting cut off by Alfred

"I don't care who started it. If you continue to fight, I will be taking away your desert" the two Robins both had a 'Noooo' look but both shook it away and Damian just tutted

"Woah...even adults are scared of Alfred..." Since Bruce and Dick behaved (most of the time) the kids hadn't seen "Stern Alfred" so it was kind of surprising

"Them? Adults?" Steph used her thumb to discreetly point at Damian and Jason "in what universe?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long, but I got it posted, didn't I?
> 
> See ya!


	12. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How about some tiny Harlivy, hmm?

* * *

"HARLEY!" Pam yelled while running after the mentioned Girl. Harley stopped, wondering why she was being chased

"Huh?" She said, turning around to face the redhead. Pam was panting for a few seconds after stopping, eventually standing back up to actually face the blonde

"I just wanted to tell you that the TV was open. You wanna...watch a movie, maybe?" Pam was Ed levels of awkward while stating this, but Harley was oblivious to this fact and jumped up in excitement.

She was now dragging Pam off to the living room and was blabbering on about what movie they should watch. By the time they made it to the TV room, the Blonde had decided upon The Wizard of Oz as their movie of choice.

* * *

Jason had caught wind of the two girls stealing the TV and deciding to watch a movie together and was slightly suspicious. Not about what movie they had decided to watch or the fact that they didn't have popcorn or refreshments, oh no.

It was that, since their was already one child couple in this house, Pam was looking to "Marry" Harley and assert dominance as the "True" power couple

He was not going to let it slide

Now, not many self-proclaimed "Adults" engage in the love-lifes of children, but, luckily, Jason was still a kid at heart. And so, there he was, stalking a "Date" between an eight and a Nine year old. 

"Subtlety", however, was not in Jason's vocabulary. Everytime he tried to do something to disrupt the date was immediately noticed by either the girls or the passerby. Whether it was Alfred, one of the other kids, or Bruce, they'd always catch him in the act of:

-trying to dump something on their heads

-trying to grab the remote and change channels

-trying to make a strange noise and scare them away

Or literally anything disruptive, something interfered and ruined it.

After a while, Jason started to ponder if it was the "Them maybe wanting to be a couple" aspect or the "I should be in charge of the TV right now, not them" aspect that was really at play here and he had settled on the latter.

That did not, however, stop him from trying to take control of the TV.

* * *

<Now, back the antics of the 'Search Party'>

Everything was currently, for lack of a better term, a mess.

Not only had 5 major players gone missing, but so had Penguin and the Hatter

This was bad news, especially for...well...

Literally every other rogue

Harvey was walking around at night, trying(and failing) to clear his head as best he could. He got to a park bench, sitting down and breathed a sigh before he got back to work trying to find the idiots who disappeared

* * *

<now, back to our regularly scheduled fluff fest>

Bruce was already done

Between the Kids, Jason, Stephanie, the Wayne Enterprises Board of trusties, and Batman-ing, he barely had any energy left in him...like...at all.

That didn't change when he was lovingly greeted with Stephanie running into the study at full speed before locking the door and disappearing under the desk

"Context?" He asked, not sure if he wanted to hear it

"....you'll se-" she whispered being cut off by an angry 12 your old

"WHERE IS SHE?" Jonathan yelled in a thick southern accent

Bruce sighed "Who is 'She' and what did 'She' do?" He was then met with Ed's frantic attempts to try and calm him down

_this is going to be a loooooong night_


	13. Everyone Hates Jack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know we ALL hate you, right?"

"Everyone LOVES me!"

Those three words. Those simple three words spoken by Jack where said. Nobody remembered whet the conversation was about for a simple five seconds before Jonathan spoke

"No we fu-french toasting don't"

"You know we _all_ hate you, right?" Pam added. Jack thought about it for a few seconds. 

"Ed doesn't hate me!"

Ed was confused "Yes I do!"

"Harley?" She just shook her head "Jerv? OS?!" They looked at each other for a few minutes before collectively shacking their heads. "Screw you guys!" Then, Jack just stormed off into the gardens.

No one went after him

* * *

"Where's Jack?" Bruce asked. Everyone just shrugged

"He just stormed off after we broke the news that no one really likes him that much" Ed answered

"There must be one thing you like about him" Bruce asked pitifully

"...I like it when he's sad?" Pam answered

"Forget about it. I'll look for him in the garden"

* * *

Jack was kicking the pebbles out of his way while muttering angerly to himself. He settled himself down on a bench near the lavender bushes. He laid down, still muttering when Bruce came.

"Hey" Jack glared daggers at him

"What do you want?" Jack mumbled

"I want you to come back inside"

"No you don't"

"And why's that?"

Jack looked away "everyone hates me"

"And why's that?" Jack was confused

"I-I don't know."

"You bully them" Jack looked up

"N-No I don't"

"Yes, you do. None of your interactions with any of them have been positive, most of them leading to violence. You're always picking fights, most of the time with Harley. Heck, Jervis is scared of you!"

Jack thought about it for a second. Is the reason none of them liked him is because none of their interactions have been positive

"If you go inside and apologize, maybe they'll hate you less?" Bruce was unsure

"M-maybe"

Bruce lent out a hand "Come on, let's get you inside"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bruce be like:I try to stay a little optimistic. Even though I will admit, things are getting pretty sticky 
> 
> Yes, I know this is short, sue me(don't...actually sue me...I'm broke as hell)
> 
> -also:Comment if you have an idea for a child rogue  
> The only one's I'm not going to do are Two-Face and Hush. Two-Face because he's currently trying to find everyone and Hush because... I like to write drama but I am NOT going to have to write how...that would turn out-  
> Peace!


	14. Old, but I'm Not That Old. Young, but I'm Not That Bold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title:Counting Stars-One Republic  
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfl01Ue2DZly2JvdV1BIfsDpHnGh7MsNj
> 
> A playlist for all the songs that a:Have been used for chapter titles, b:May use for chapter titles in the future and c:Just thought fit the ascetic of the story
> 
> Also: Selina is NOT a villain in this story, at least not fully. She's enough of a hero that the league and Batman could trust her going into their hideouts and not steal anything and to be on good terms with

Jon, Ed, Harley, and Pam where all playing soccer in the backyard. Jon and Ed where on a team and Harley and Pam where on the opposite. The current score was 9 points for the boys team and 13 for the girls. They had been playing for about an hour at this point and where getting a little bored of it.

Harley looked around and noticed a forest near the house. She tried getting Pam's attention-which was currently focused on Jon, discussing what they should all do next-but soon found it useless. She looked at Ed and decided that he would definitely listen. 

Harley told him about the forest and, taking the clue that she wanted to explore it, tapped Jon's shoulder.

"What?" He asked. Ed pointed towards the forest "Good thinking, Ed"

"It was actually Harleys idea"

"Sorry, good thinking Harley!" He gestured for all of the others to follow him

* * *

_Why do these idiots keep getting turned into children???_ Bruce and Selina thought at the same time. Selina had found another duo of Rogues-Turned-children in the form of...

Talia and...

Oh you've got to be kidding me THE CONDAMENT KING????

That's right! Miss Talia al Ghul and Sir. Mitchell Mayo both got turned into children. Talia looked to be approximately 10 months old and Mitch looked about 6 years. 

"I'll hold her" Bruce requested. Selina passed Baby Talia over to Bruce, who proceeded to rock her gently. 

"Should I go talk to Zatanna?" Selina asked. Bruce just nodded, and she was in her way to the bat cave.

* * *

"Hello, Zee" Catwoman said, leaning against the doorframe. Zatanna was startled, but calmed down

"What do you want, Selina?" The latter woman said, getting straight to the point

"I just came here to ask about the _little_ spell that was placed on Gotham's favourite nuisances"

"What about it?" Zee asked, suddenly curious

"I know you said there was a time limit, but...does it...i dunno...add whenever more people get hit with it?" Zee's eyes widen

"Y-yes. It Start's out as 2 months for the first person, then 3 for 2 people, so on and so forth. How many more rogues got hit with?" 

"4 so far, probably more to come"

"9 rogues...10 months..." Zatanna looked at Selina with acted pity

"Another question, any other drawbacks to the victim other than amnesia? Like 'They will die at the end of the period they where a kid'?"

Zee laughed "No. Just amnesia and temporarily turning into a kid. They should also be growing older, like normal kids do"

"That's good. See you soon, Zee"

"You too!"

* * *

"Alfred!" Bruce called, while also trying to not wake up the sleeping baby in his arms. The aging butler appeared suddenly

"Yes, master Bruce?" Alfred looked at the scene and sighed "I will get a new room ready. I assume that you want the nursery ready also?"

"Yes. Thank you, Alfred"

"Of course, Master Bruce" Alfred was then off to do what he was asked(Read: Technically kind of volunteered) to do

A good twenty minutes later, Damian came down to probably get a snack or something when he looked towards Bruce

"More guests, Father?" Damian stated

"Yes" Bruce said simply

"May I ask what imbeciles got turned into children this time?"

"Condiment King and" Bruce looked up at Damian with a smirk on his face "Your mother"

Bruce could see Damian's mouth hang open a little bit at the last name(well, more like title)

"Do you want to hold her?" Bruce asked. Damian nodded slowly while Bruce handed her to him

"Sir, the rooms are ready" Alfred interrupted. Bruce nodded, while the Butler picked up Mitch and carried him to his room. Bruce tapped Damian's shoulder and directed them to the nursery.

* * *

<Meanwhile, in the forest>

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WE'RE LOST'?!?" 

"I mean we're lost!" 

"Guys, please calm down"


	15. Chapter 14 Part 2

* * *

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WE'RE LOST'?!?" Pam yelled

"I mean we're lost!" Jon spat

"Guys, please calm down" Harley and Ed both whispered

As you can probably tell, our young protagonists have gotten lost in the depths of the forest. Since they do not, in fact, have cell phones, they cannot call someone to help find them

"Maybe we could go...that way?" Ed pointed towards a path

"We've already gone that way eight times" Jon sighed bitterly

"Well, I'm going that way" Ed went with no one following him

"Watch as he gets even more lost" Harley mumbled.

* * *

"Selina?" Bruce starts when he and the lady in question were alone "Where are Pam, Jon, Ed and Harley?"

"They _where_ playing outside, I'll go check" Selina started walking out the door "Say, why do you need to know?"

"I'm just worried, I hadn't seen them all day"

"To be fair, we where focused on our new guests..."

"True"

"I'll go find them and you get Alfred to make cookies" Bruce nodded, before going to look for his Butler

* * *

"Pamela!" Selina yelled, cuffing her hands around her mouth like a microphone "Jonathan!? Edward!" No luck.

 _Why couldn't they have left a note?_ Selina mentally asked herself _or at least tell us where they where going? Oh, right, that would be too easy_

Selina noticed the forest and decided to text Bruce where she would be going before heading into the sea of pine trees

* * *

- _bzzt-_

Bruce took out his phone to look at the message from Selina

-Going to check the Forest. Hoping it's a lead

"I forgot we had a forest" Bruce mumbled to himself. He was currently still trying to find Alfred, even though the should realize by now that you do not find Alfred, Alfred finds you

"Are you looking for me, Master Bruce?" Alfred asked, startling Bruce a tiny bit

Hey, at least you know where Bruce gets it from!

"Uh, yeah. Can you start a batch of cookies for the kids?"

"Of course. I should warn you that Young Master Jervis is looking for you. I believe that he wants to create a living room production of _Alice in Wonderland_ "

 _of course_ "Well, let him know that I'll be in my study"

"Good" Alfred then disappeared and reappeared in the kitchen, baking a dozen batches of cookies

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you may have noticed that I'm not updating this often
> 
> Well, the answer is the unfortunate curse of losing interest
> 
> I mean, I have a little interest to help continue it(I mean, I just introduced Talia and Condimant King), but plot points are -zip-
> 
> And the "Lost in the Woods" Subplot is probably going to last a few chapters
> 
> So long!


	16. Author is Crying, but still trying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blame school and writers block
> 
> PS: the first half of this chapter is written in 11 year old Ed's point of view, meaning he will not recognize Harvey! Be warned!

Edward emerged from the other side of the woods, looking confused. He had been wandering around for, what; Hours at this point? He didn't know. All he knew was that he was not at the manor anymore

He appeared to have gotten to the edge of a suburb. There were house lined up along the side walk, with street lamps every five houses. Each of the houses were painted a slightly more boring than the last shade of gray or beige, with the occasional bright orange of scarlet red. 

Edward walked for the next thirty minutes wandering some more, stopping when he seemed to have gotten out of the neighborhood and into...

One of Gothams shopping districts?

He grew up knowing that Gotham was a labarynth, but seriously?

Eddie, unknowingly, started to breathe heavily. Then, out of nowhere started to run in the exact opposite direction of were he wanted to go if he wanted to get back to the manor. He ran, not even caring if he ran into people, he just ran

Eventually, after about an hour of running, he ran into someone. This wouldn't be notable if he kept up with the plan he made for himself if the man immediately didn't pick him up by the scruff of his shirt a second after impact

"Now what the hell do you think your do-" the man started. The Mans face was the most notable thing about him; on one side, he looked like a handsome politician or billionaire. The other side...Was not as graceful. It looked a terrible mixture of pink and green that made Edward want to throw up right then and there. The eye on that side looked like it wanted to jump right out any second. 

The Man did a double take when he got a good look at Eddie. He had a look of confusion first, followed by shock, then he seemed to have looked disappointed

"What's wrong?" Ed asks

The Man laughs "Sorry, you just looked like someone I know"

"Oh.." Ed felt sad for minute "Dod something happen to this friend of yours?"

"Yeah, actually. He went missing a few month's back. Can't find him"

"Maybe I can help!" Ed said, enthusiastically. He loved to help when his friends things got lost. It made him feel important "I'm great at finding things!"

The Man wanted to smile at Eds enthusiasm "oh really now?"

Ed nodded his head "Yep! Say, what's your friends name?"

"His name? Well, his name is Edward" Eds eyes lit up

" _his_ name is Edward?! My names Edward too!" The Man looked shocked for a second, then shook his head quickly

"Well, if we are going to look for him, we better start moving"

It was pretty easy for Selina to find the kids, taking roughly 10-15 minutes at most. They had miraculously stayed pretty close to the entry to the forest, only going deep enough that it could be counted as an adventure

The only downside? Edward was not with them

"What do you mean you lost Edward?" Selina was getting exasperated. Not only had she lost them for roughly the couple of hours she had actually noticed, but she had also lost Edward??? For more than that couple of hours????

The three she had found nodded their heads.

"He wandered off without us. I think he forgot the first rule of horror movies" Pam stated, looking furiously petty

"I thought I taught them to him..." Jon mumbled, scrunching his eyebrow

Selina sighed "Well, do you have any idea were he went?"

"I think deeper into the forest" Said Harley. 

Selina facepalmed "just...go inside. There are cookies waiting-"

"COOKIES!!!!" The kids yelled, running over Selina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, its short. Again; school


End file.
